![]() I never wanted to hear about my girl’s past sexual encounters. I use all my tricks to keep things fresh between us, whether it’s toys, role-playing, taking dirty pictures, dirty talk or light bondage. ![]() She’s so beautiful, it’s beyond hot to watch her fuck and even hotter to watch her twist and writhe around in orgasm. ![]() She loves that I’ll get her off four, five, maybe six times before I orgasm. It isn’t uncommon for me to fuck my girl for an hour before I cum. I’m also very tall, which makes for a hot contrast with my petite girl. ![]() I was quite the lady’s man in my younger days. I am a very successful businessman, a little bit older than my girl, but still in good shape. That’s really sexy, and I don’t think she recognizes the effect she has on men. She has a natural way of carrying herself, too, where her posture is so good that her shoulders are always back, so it always looks like her big tits are jutting out. On her small frame, those tits are hard not to notice. And as excellent as her butt is, the show-stopper are her big tits. She has an unbelievable figure that stops traffic. She’s petite, five feet one, with long blonde hair. If you saw her, you would say she’s smoking hot. She works out and takes care of her body. Michelle just turned 40, but she doesn’t look a day over 30. My gorgeous wife and I have been happily married for fifteen years. See all the photos of the event in the slideshow above (very much not NSFW), or check out the photos from last year's pageant right here. Kumar seemed genuinely touched at the turnout and oddly proud of his new title. Last year’s winner, Nick Gilronan, returned to the stage to present Kumar with the glitter encrusted, penis-spired crown amidst a terrible stench of sewage, which, by all accounts, is a pageant tradition (we didn’t feel like enquiring further). Raj Kumar donned a traditional Indian costume and displayed his agility in a Bollywood-tinged dance routine that seduced judge Caroline Fox, who joined him onstage for a bump and grind.Īs ever, the act with the lowest score won, and audience favorite and New Delhi native Raj Kumar-a 28-year-old Fulbright scholar who lives on the Upper East Side and works in digital advertising-romped away with the win. Rufio read punny jokes from his iPhone with surprising charm, while Twig N’ Berries sang an uncomfortable, flat-falling duet with Cherry Pitz, then tried to get the audience back with some yoga moves. Peter Parker broke a sweat with a characteristically awkward but high-spirited break-dancing number, dressed head to toe in a Spider-Man costume. The Puzzle Master performed a surprisingly smooth tease and tuck routine, which won him high scores with both the judges and the audience. Though always fully covered, this costume change revealed the family jewels most clearly, and honestly, Rufio might as well have been disqualified for not being nearly small enough.Ĭherry Pitz graced the bar top with two intermission burlesque sets, which provided an appetizer for the talent portion of the afternoon. Once the second round of judging was underway, the guys paraded across the bar wearing dainty mesh tangas. Charisma, wit and sweetness, however, won out over showboating or a pretty face.Īstoria comedy band Afterbirth Monkey provided intermission entertainment with songs about-you guessed it-penis size, complete with plastic penis water guns and balloon-art dicks. ![]() During this hard-hitting opening round, Raj Kumar got points knocked off for being too cutesy, while Peter Parker-the only masked contestant this year-played the awkward wacko card to great effect. Extra points were handed out for originality (and in some cases, their appreciation of cunnilingus). The pool of contestants were whittled down to five after a casual screening process, with the lucky (or unlucky, depending on your point of view) finalists comprising of the somewhat twisted Puzzle Master, the cocky Rufio, returning contestant the incognito “Peter Parker,” all-American blond “Twig N’ Berries" and the benevolent Indian “Raj Kumar.” The group were then asked such revealing questions as their favorite sexual position and their responses were saucily evaluated by the judges. RECOMMENDED: Full coverage on the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant talk-show host Caroline Fox, sex educator Kendall McKenzie and Bobbie Chaset, the owner of Kings County Bar and mastermind behind the pageant. The main event, of course, was the interaction between the audience, judges and those boys brave enough to bare their modest members. The second annual event drew a fat line that stretched halfway down Seigel Street in Bushwick this past Saturday, and those who were lucky enough to fit into the diminutive Kings County Bar were treated to MC Chicken Bitches' sweet and sharp tongue, great music and the effervescence of burlesque performer Cherry Pitz. Apparently, the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant is a grower. ![]()
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